First are the television ads, then the bright ones in the shopping centers, announcing that it is almost here. Christmas is coming one more year. A great event for many, a hard drink to pass for others.
A significant fact: the psychological consultations are increased in these dates prior to family celebrations. According to the director of technical origin, Pilar Conde, many people are aware of the difficulties they face every year and ask for help to try to avoid the discomfort that these holidays cause them. They go in search of help because they are afraid of Christmas.
How is that fear managed? With useful tools that are based on analyzing with the psychologist the situations that we are afraid to face and "Flexibilize", that is, try to see them from outside, with another perspective, as well as deprive them of their emotional charge, explains the expert. From there, it's about changing our behavior, our actions, to see if we get other results and, in this way, if we are able to face the Christmas atmosphere without fear.
As for the master formula on how to act on the dates indicated, Conde ensures that it is best not to force the personal routine, and assume that certain changes will occur during those days. While it is true that there are those who undertake a distant journey to be away from carols and nougat, others can not afford it, so the key is to negotiate visits on Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve and other family reunions. If there is no other choice, it is best to assume it, but always, having agreed before the meetings the time of permanence. That is, the rest know how long it will stay, especially the couple, who usually with the person who usually have difficulties for these issues. For the rest, explains the psychologist, it is best to continue with the usual dynamics.
The common origin of The sadness and depressive thoughts associated with Christmas are usually related to losses, with the longing for loved ones who are no longer with us or with negative experiences lived in childhood, the age of life in which these dates are lived with all the illusion and intensity. If year after year, the "intimate parties" become a nightmare, the third reason appears, which is none other than the fear of suffering that anguish once again.
Another aspect to consider is the frustration associated with great expense which takes place in December and January, both in gifts, clothes and food. There are those who can not afford such a large outlay as they would like. If these people, in addition, value what others think of them, this can be an important issue, causing some anxiety, becoming a critical moment.
However, from Origen point out the family coexistence as the nerve center of the dynamics of these days, as it is about dates that are lived with the closest people. Forced contact with the family, says Pilar Conde, can generate negative emotions that generate vulnerability and loss of control. The reason is that, although we have learned to relate differently in other areas of life, when we return home we react in the same way to old behavioral dynamics, which forces us, in a certain way, to be those we are no longer. In addition, on the other hand, negative experiences that have not been solved with the passing of the years may remain pending.
Beyond this problem of those who feel true fear of Christmas, others simply do not like these days. For them, Pilar Conde leaves some simple tips with which to spend a little better:
– Get excited about the children's energy. Enjoy the well-being that brings joy to others.
– Enjoy the benefits of the holidays, rest and organize activities that are to your liking.
– If you feel obligated to be Somewhere due to your relationship with your partner or family, focus your thoughts on the welfare that he or she generates your effort. Today for you tomorrow for me.
Finally, the Christmas is often a shock in terms of changes in life, since it supposes a symbolic time of transformation. One year begins, another ends. Thus, the psychological consultations return to rebound. In January, the search is based on coaching processes that help fulfill the famous New Year's resolutions.