One of the fundamental keys for a relationship to work is the communication. Talk to each other, explain things, don't shut up. But nor you have to confuse sincerity with abruptness because, unlike what the saying goes, 'words are NOT carried by the wind'.
Some unfortunate phrases get stuck and rise again in times of tension, something that only encourages more reproaches and more anger. We have all warmed up in an argument, but it is important to control the forms and avoid telling our partner certain devastating words.
'Always' or 'never'
Starting a sentence with these absolute time adverbs is a mistake. There is no possibility of having a talk or constructive discussion With these sharp words. All we will get is for the other party to become defensive and launch more missiles. Instead of saying "you never tell me beautiful things," it is better to say: "I would like you to tell me more beautiful things from time to time."
'I told you'
Nobody likes to be treated like a fool or to be reminded that he has failed at something. Avoid the 'I told you' even if you had warned him that something was not going to go well since that display of wisdom denotes superiority And feel very bad. If you try to be understanding and try to empathize with your partner, the relationship will be better.
'I do not believe you'
Maybe at some point you think that tu couple is not being quite sincere but we must not stop trusting her from the zero minute. Send him your doubts, and tell him that something does not add up, but don't get defensive with him 'I do not believe you'. Try with less resounding formulas as 'I have the feeling that you are not telling me everything' or 'there are things that do not add up' to try to move forward in the conversation.
'If you really wanted me …'
This dramatic phrase has a lot of danger, because somehow you pressure your partner to do something he hasn't done or doesn't want to do. It is a combination of risk in which mix the ultimatum with guilt and that just making a dent in the relationship since the other feels obligated to something. It is better to choose to say things without filters: "I would like us to do more things together." In this way the problem is addressed directly and without confrontations.
'What were you saying to me?'
If when your partner is explaining something to you, you respond "there"But you are really thinking about your things and there comes a point where you have to let go "what were you saying to me?"Wrong. The feeling your partner will have is that nothing that tells you are interested and that will damage your self-esteem. Over time, it will end up acting the same way and when neither of you know what the other is talking about, you will have a big problem.
Discussing occasionally with the couple is not bad, but avoiding certain phrases can help the relationship to emerge stronger from these confrontations verbal It can be difficult, but not impossible.