The other back to school: bullying and bullying

Leocadio Martín analyzes the return to school. / LEOCADIO MARTIN

The psychologist Leocadio Martín offers the keys to identify a possible case of bullying at the beginning of the course

There is little left for back to school. Already, for a long time, we see indicators everywhere that make us see it. From advertising campaigns to the reservation or collection of books in bookstores to the necessary acquisition of material that accompanies all the beginning of the course.

But, we are not going to talk about these aspects today. We are going to focus on something that seems more important to us and, on many occasions, goes unnoticed until the signs or damage is very evident:
bullying or bullying.

Yes, it is normal that
some boys and girls don't want to go back to schoolafter a great vacation summer with family, friends, on the beach, in the mountains or at the grandparents' house. Without schedules and only driven by fun, it is, to a certain extent, logical that they do not feel like going back very much, who does?

But there is another reality that can hide the rejection of going back to school and that, on many occasions, goes unnoticed among the tantrums why the holidays are over. There are boys and girls who have
panic to return. There are boys and girls who do not want to see their friends in any way.
There are boys and girls for whom going back to school is the beginning of a daily nightmare of humiliation, despair, anxiety and sadness.. It is something that does not resolve itself and can be especially overwhelming for those who suffer from it.

We leave you some indicators to identify if this is the situation that your son or daughter experiences:

What to look at?

  • He is afraid to go to school, ride the school bus or participate in organized activities.

  • Finds or makes excuses for why he can't go to school.

  • He seems sad, moody, tearful, or depressed when we talk about the start of school.

  • He has no enthusiasm for books, school supplies or previous purchases.

  • Complains of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical ailments.

  • You have trouble sleeping or have frequent nightmares.

  • You experience a loss of appetite.

  • He appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem.

These few indicators are not a substitute for the knowledge we have of our son or daughter and that they can help us
identify signs of bullying or the fear of suffering it again.

When you talk about this, don't just ask if he's being harassed. Don't forget that he may be embarrassed to tell you. A better way to approach it may be
indirect questions how are you.

  • "I've heard a lot about bullying in the news. Is that happening at your school?

  • "I'm worried about you. Is there a child at school who might be picking on or bullying you?”

  • “Is there someone at school who makes fun of you?”

  • "Is there a kid at school who purposefully leaves you out or excludes you?"

These questions can still be quite uncomfortable for many children, so it would be interesting to approach them with some
subtle questions:

  • “Do you have any friends that you want to see again at school this year? Who are they? Who are you going out with?"

  • "Who do you sit with in the dining room and on the bus?"

  • "Is there a boy or girl you really don't like? Why? Do they bother you or leave you out of things?

It's not about questioning. On many occasions, just one of these questions is enough to realize that something is not right and we should not continue investigating, since we can do more damage by reviving it.

Don't overreact. Tell him that you love him, that this is not his fault and that you are going to help him. That they can talk to you at all times.

talk to the school. Call or make an appointment to speak with your tutor. Teachers are likely to be in the best position to observe the situation and take action.

A healthy start to the course is essential for your well-being.

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