From the night of January 5, there was not so much illusion at Bertín Osborne's house because of the arrival of three men like the one that was on the Friday edition of the program My house is yours, of Telecinco. The last one, Santiago Abascal, brought peppers stuffed with quinoa, so Bertin, who had asked Abascal if he had come on horseback, made a face emoji with monocle. Abascal clarified, in case it was necessary to clarify something similar, that the dish had been made by his wife. His mission in Bertín's kitchen was to order red and yellow peppers to form a Spanish flag; I hope a recipe book of Abascal that includes markers for when the harvest does not give for more, and the promise of a booth in the Spanish kitchens so that the dishes can go out past, without salt, little done or expired, but Spanish. There he was, in the peppers, his electoral program: no idea to do it, but good eye to paint it.
Pablo Casado, another guest of the program, which EL PAÍS saw before its broadcast, rang with a basket like Little Red Riding Hood but with half a wolf inside. "Menudo chuletón is going to get this between his chest and back," he said, crossing -just lacking the pith helmet- the gardens of Bertín's house. And Albert Rivera, marking euphoric distances, came with a tuna pie that Bertín almost throws in his head. "She's rich," she commented later, chewing her shyly. "I made it, I'm starting to cook," Rivera said while Bertín stopped abruptly to chew.
They were all there. Everyone? No. Bertin Osborne, filling the wine glass, collapsed in front of Casado: "Pedro and Pablo have not come, Pablo Iglesias." Married put a face between the worry and the desire to laugh, the face of the colleague who listens to another saying that he has left his girlfriend. "I with Churches …" Bertin said, recognizing that both were "in the antipodes", without clarifying if together. But he would have liked to talk to him. "To contrast ideas," he said. It is true that with Casado, Rivera and Abascal had less to contrast, but they could talk about children and parents, the "piece of country" we have ("I like everything from Spain," said Casado; people, "said Abascal, as Julio Iglesias) and, finally, of those tricky questions with which Bertín besieged from the first minute when there is little to contrast.
Married on arrival, he pointed out that Bertín had a Venezuelan flag in the fridge, to which the presenter replied that he also carried it "in his heart, in his head and on the floor above"; the natural mixture of the parts of his body and the architecture of the house left Casado paralyzed, as if the house of Bertin was already part of his being and Bertin himself was governed by domotics: if you applaud nearby, you will hum open the door (Bertin, when they knock on the door of his house, humming instead of shitting himself in all the saints, as the rest of the Spaniards do, I do not say if Rivera appears with empanada).
"We are going to take a little wine and aperitivito," the host told the leader of the PP. Bertinism is not understood without the diminutive, essence of the hour of vermouth; the moment in which the Spaniards, all to one, prepare themselves to join and reduce the words as the jíbaros the heads with the intention of creating an atmosphere. The Spanish creates atmospheres of good vibes saying "terracita", "aceitunitas", "vinito" and "coleguita", that is why every time we have a civil war.
Married to Bertin, he did not release or mediate. He said that his first measure when he arrives at La Moncloa, or wherever he arrives, will be to lower taxes and recover legality in Catalonia, because in the Supreme Court these weeks must be training the trial, a legal preseason or something like that. Rivera, although there are very important things like the suppression of inheritance tax (we must start paying attention to a new group of offended: the heirs), he will promote a great deal of education. Abascal, bring order and the rule of law, or the empire to dry, to Catalonia. Married, by the way, said that before the primaries he sought and found work in the private sector, in Paris and with a dizzying salary; However, he preferred to stay with the PP: with what credibility can one vote like that.
Each time there was a plan of the house of Bertin, with the IBI flying over the sky in the manner of a chemtrail of buzzing, and every little Bertin cried the absence of Churches, this time to Abascal: "First he said yes, but then …". "You do not know him," Abascal cut short. "He does not know how to put the peppers," he added mentally. The pain was to stay without seeing how Iglesias advised Bertin about the maintenance of the pool and the gardens, the decoration of the salons and the taste in the choice of noble woods. Do it then, already unleashed, a Marie Kondo while he thinks where they will have placed in that house the post of the Civil Guard.
Is she a feminist? Bertín Osborne asked the three of them. Married and Rivera began their response equally: "If feminism is …", adding what feminism was and saying yes; All that work was taken to accommodate the adversary, as any response that begins with an absurd conditional. Abascal said that she was not a feminist, "neither masculinist nor macho," but a man married to a woman, when a man loves a woman. Bertín gave it to him for good and it wrote down subject for a new disc, the second part of I should have fallen in love with your mother what could be called If your mother is masculinist.
"What would you do if you get a son from Podemos?" Bertín asked Abascal, who almost vomits the quinoa (this will not be couscous). Children when they embark on a bad path "leave", not "are". Abascal said that what he would not forgive is the betrayal of Spain, because he instilled the values of loyalty to Spain and if they betray they betray their parents and grandparents. "I was asking him about that," said Bertin in a world parallel to this, a world of untidy peppers, "because if his son leaves Podemos, maybe the patriotic police steals his cell phone or invents him invoices". Fused to black. Voice in off de Abascal: "Do you see how easy it is to enter another house? Where do you have the gunsmith? "