August 3, 2020

How to survive confinement with a teenager – La Provincia


Much is said about how hard confinement is for mothers and fathers with young children. A real feat considering how active children are at those ages. If the street is too small, we don’t want to imagine a closed apartment. But,and confinement with teenagers?

It’s right on adolescence when young people begin to gradually detach themselves from us, their parents, they taste the taste of independence, they begin to go out, meet people, fall in love, stop being children … And suddenly, without notice, they have been deprived of that recent freedomLocked between four walls with their parents, the people they now feel less connected to than anyone else in the world.

It is the perfect setting for them to emerge conflicts, quarrels …

In this video, the psychologist and teacher Ángel Peralbo, author of books like: “Adolescents: your son is not your enemy” or “The indomitable adolescent offers us some keys to achieve a positive coexistence.

Keys to a positive coexistence with your teenager:
Make an effort to connect with them. Although they are no longer young children, who need our constant help, teenagers still need us. Let’s make an effort to find that connection, even if they don’t make it easy for us.

Let’s look. If we look at them carefully we can get a lot of information. Let’s use it to reflect, think how or what is the best way to approach them.

Talk. Communication is essential. But let’s look for the moment. Not just any time is right to criticize an attitude that has not seemed correct to us. As important is the way in which we communicate it to you as choosing the right moment.

Be available. Surely they have isolated themselves in isolation and spend many hours in their room, alone. When they go out and need to talk or be with family, we should be there for them. We must not reproach them for having been locked up for three hours while the rest of us shared a movie in the living room.

Positive look. Although no one likes this situation, let’s try to see it as an opportunity to learn things from our children, get to know them better and improve our relationship. In this way, we will emerge reinforced from it.

Let’s put ourselves in their shoes. How would you be if you were a teenager and you had been deprived of your newly released freedom by shutting yourself up with your mother and father? Although this time is far away, trying to remember it maybe helps us to better understand how they feel now.

Let’s have a plan. Let’s think we want to get out of all this. If we are in bad shape all day, arguing, reproaching, the fruit of this confinement will be negative. If, on the other hand, we choose which battles to fight and we are empathetic with those around us and do not lose sight of the objective (get more connected from this), it will be very easy for us to achieve it.

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