March 6, 2021

Diary of a nurse: “You can scream or cry … it doesn’t matter”



Concern, exhaustion, uncertainty, tension … These are words that are repeated over and over again among health professionals in the Community of Madrid, which is already close to 9,000 cases of coronavirus and more than 800 deaths, which account for 60% of deaths from the outbreak across the country, according to data provided by the Ministry of Health.

María Victoria Gómez, nurse at a hospital in southern Madrid, tells LA RAZÓN on a daily basis the harsh reality that health personnel are facing in the face of the pandemic. The burden of care differs according to the center and the specialty, but the feeling of concern, the complaint about the lack of material and human resources and the certainty that the peak has not yet been reached is unanimous.

“It is difficult to know that there are people who need to go to an ICU or they will die, and who cannot do so because these services have already collapsed”, explains with tears in her eyes this 26-year-old girl, who calls on all citizens to 100% respect confinement and remain in their homes to stop the collapse of hospital centers. This is his account:

Stay in your house…

• The difficult thing is to go to work every day without rest and that you do not see an end because there is no day that a colleague does not call saying that she has been infected and stays at home.

• The difficult thing is to work every day with your tiredness on your back without rest.

• The difficult thing is going to work and having a smile on your face knowing that there are really critical people in the ICU, whether they are older people or young people -with and without a background-, because even if it is said that this is like the flu … NO It IS, and there are people going through a really critical moment and on top of that they are completely alone because nobody can go see them, since visits are not allowed.

• The difficult thing is working and being denied the necessary material so as not to get infected. Now you can scream, kick and cry, it does not matter, you must work without your protection.

• The difficult thing is getting up every morning thinking about if something hurts or if you have symptoms of some kind.

• The difficult thing is not knowing how to think about something else and taking your temperature up to three times a day for fear of getting it and especially fear of infecting your family with whom you live.

• The difficult thing is to cry and make your hair stand on end every time that colleagues from other services tell you how people are dying and how they cannot cope or do anything for these people, at the same time that they break down crying and impotence does not let them even speak.

• The difficult thing is knowing that you will get it sooner or later because you are exposed to the virus all day and working hand in hand with him knowing that you are not protected.

• The difficult thing is to know that there are people who urgently need to go to an ICU or they will die, and who cannot do so because these services have already collapsed.

• The difficult thing is to talk with nurses from all the hospitals and see how we all end up crying when we tell the situation we are experiencing.

• The difficult thing is that probably many of us find it difficult to overcome what we are experiencing and what our eyes are seeing.

• The difficult thing is going to work thinking that it is like going to war.

• The difficult thing is going to work thinking that this has only just begun and that the worst is still to come.

And now tell me if it’s so difficult to stay home …

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